Dore impamvu zituma umugore wawe atanyara mu gihe urigutera akabariro
(nimba ukunda umugore unyara dore inama ugirwa )

Yanditwe: 2/03/2014

Kunyara ni kimwe mu bintu birimo gusenya ingo zimwe na zimwe muri iki gihe mu gihe ibyishimo bibonerwa mu mibonano, ariko ntibyakunze kwitabwaho hirya no hino ku isi kugeza mu 1950, aho abashakashatsi batangiye kubitekerezaho ari benshi

Hano mu Rwanda abagabo benshi bakunda abagore bagira amavangingo ( kunyara ) ndetse usanga mu mico imwe n’ imwe na n’ ubu bagica abagore babo imwe mu myanya ndangagitsina yabo ibafasha kwishima ku buryo bwihuse, mu gihe cyo gutera akabariro ngo batazavaho baca inyuma abagabo babo kuko bazi ko umugore unyara ashobora kunyura abagabo benshi.

Mu Rwanda ho kuva kera abagore bari bafite amahirwe y’ uko abagabo babo babaga bafite inshingano yo kubashimisha kuko habagaho igikorwa cyo kunyaza kuva kera.
Niba rero bikunze ko umugabo afasha umugore kuzana amazi, ni ikimenyetso cya mbere cy’ uko umugore aba yanyuzwe n’ imibonano kuko adashobora kuyazana atanyuzwe.

Gusa, n’ ubwo iki ari ikimenyetso cyo kunyurwa n’ imibonano ntabwo aricyo kivuga ko umugore agejeje ibyishimo bye kundunduro.

Ariko se abagore batajya bazana aya mazi muri icyo gihe byaba bivuga ko batajya bishima ?
Hari Impamvu zitandukanye zishobora kuba intandaro yo kutazana aya mazi ku mugore.

Gusa, umugore ashobora kugeza ibyishimo abonera mu mibonano ku ndunduro kandi atigeze azana aya mazi.
Uyu munsi reka twigire hamwe ibintu byagufasha kugera kuri ayo mazi

1. Kuba umugabo atarabasha kumenya icyo yakorera umugore we ngo aya mazi ayazane

Hari abagabo bajya bibwira ko ngo bigeze gukorana imibonano mpuzabitsina n’ undi mugore runaka ngo we akazana amazi, bityo babona uwo bashakanye ntayo azana bagahita bumva ko ubwo ari ntayo agira.

Hari n’ abasore badatinya guhita bangana n’ umukobwa bari bakundanye, yamuha bwa mbere ntayazane ubwo bakaba babyaranye abo, ariko kandi abagabo bagomba kumenya ko buri mugore yihariye, ni ukuvuga ko biterwa n’ icyo wakoze kugirango nyirakanaka ayazane.

Icyo urimo gukora gishobora kuba ntaho gihuriye n’ aho wakora kugirango uwo mwashakanye ayazane, bityo kuba utarabona ayazana bishoboka ko atari ukubera ko atayagira.

2. Bishobora guterwa no kuba umugore ataramenyera kwirekura igihe cy’ akabariro

Hari abagore baba batarabasha kwerekeza ibitekerezo byabo byose kuri icyo gikorwa, maze ugasanga bitumye mu mutwe hatirekura ngo hafashe imyanya ye kurekura ya mazi.

Bivugwa ko abagore bazana amazi bataragira imyaka 30 ari bake cyane n’ ubwo isi igenda ihinduka kubera imirire n’ aho igeze.

Iyo bamaze kuyirenza ngo baba batangiye kumenyera no kwirekura ku buryo bworoshye. Ku myaka 40, n’ ubwo umugore aba arimo asatira gucura ngo nibwo yirekura wese wese ku buryo umubare w’ abazana amazi uba munini cyane.
Ushobora rero kwibeshya ukaba wakwiyirukanira umugore kandi igihe cye cyo kubasha kwirekura akazana ya mazi uhora uhiga kitaragera.

3. Hari ubwo umugore atinya kurekura aya mazi akeka ko yaba agiye kunyarira umugabo we.

Ibi nabyo bibaho kuko hari abagore bumva ayo mazi agiye kuza, ariko bagatinya ko aza bacyeka ko bagiye gushyira umwanda k’ uburiri.

4. Hari n’ umugore uzana macye cyane atagaragara umugabo agakeka ko ntayo azana

Aya mazi aza atangana ku bagore bose, bikaba bivugwa ko ava ku gitonyanga kugera kuri litiro.
Ashobora kuza inshuro imwe cyangwa se zirenzeho mu gihe cy’ umubonano umwe.
 Igihe umugore azana igitonyanga rero, umugabo ashobora kwibwira ko uwo mugore atajya ayazana kandi imyanya ye irekura macye.

5. Hari n’ umugore uba uhangayikishijwe amazi ataza

Uku guhangayika nako gutuma kwirekura binanirana bityo kuzana amazi bikanga. Ibi na none ngo bijyana n’ uko umugore agiye gukora imibonano ameranye n’ umugabo we, kuko ngo iyo ahangayitse cyangwa se yarakaye ngo ntashobora kuzana aya mazi kabone n’ iyo yaba yari asanzwe ayazana kandi nawe ntako utagize ngo uyashakishe.

6. Hari abagabo bakora imibonano mpuzabitsina bagambiriye gutuma umugore azana amazi.
Ibi nabyo bituma iyi mibonano ikozwe gutya iba ikomeye nta rukundo n’ ubusabane biba birimo kuko hari intego itumbiriwe, bityo kubona ya mazi bikagorana cyangwa ntibinagerweho.

7. Kuba abashakanye batajya baganira igihe bari muri iki gikorwa byatuma abura

Kuganira igihe cy’ akabariro ni byiza, kuko umugore aba ashobora gusaba umugabo aho amukoreye hakamubera heza kugirango ahagume cyangwa se aho yumvise bitameze neza akaba yahareka.

Iyo ahagumye, ahanini usanga ariho hari butume ya mazi aza kuko haba hafite ubwumvumve bukomeye, iyo atamuvugishije, umugabo akomeza ahinduranya uko yishakiye agirango ibyo ari gukora nibyo byiza kandi yahava umugore akababara nyamara ntakome ! Sibyiza rero guceceka igihe murimo gutera akabariro kuko n’ igikorwa gishimisha ku mpande zombi cyane iyo mwungurana ibitekerezo mu gihe cy’ igikorwa nyirizina.

8. Kuba umugore ntayo ajya azana kubera ko imvubura ziyarekura zishobora kuba zidakora neza cyangwa nta n’ izo agira, cyangwa bitewe n’ ingano y’ imisemburo ya kigore yifitemo

Ibi nabyo ni ibishoboka ko umugore koko ashobora kuba atazana amazi, ariko kandi icyo abagabo bagomba kwishyiramo ni uko kuryoherwa n’ akabariro bihera mu mutwe ndetse n’ uko kuzana amazi ataribyo biryoshya akabariro, ahubwo kugira ububobere buhagije mu gitsina buri gihe nibyo by’ ingenzi by’ umwihariko mu gihe cyo gutera akabariro.

Aya mazi rero umugore ashobora kuba ayifitimo n’ aho yaba atarayazana na rimwe cyangwa se umubiri we ukaba uteye utyo akaba adashobora kuyazana, nyamara ntibimubuze kuryoshya no kuryoherwa mu mibonano igihe agira ububobere buhagije kandi nawe azi icyo gukora.

Solange Gakuru –imirasire.com

Kanda urebe amakosa ukwiye kwilinda igihe mukora imibonano mpuzabitsina.